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Listen, you need a tent. It's for a back-to-school party. It's going to rain. You know it is. A little drizzle, everyone's running inside, and your perfect party is ruined. And for what? For a couple hundred bucks? You can get a tent. Don’t be a scared little mouse. Don't let your party get ruined by a "drizzle." We have the "I'm Not Afraid of a Drizzle" tent, and it comes in a variety of sizes so you don't look like a total dweeb.

You want to get a bunch of stuff at once. It's smart. It's a deal. You want to make sure your friends have a good time and that nobody has to look at you and wonder why you didn't get enough stuff. Our specials are about to end, so you better get on it.

But don't you worry, my little party planners! We're not letting "back to school" ruin our vibe. We're fighting it! We're fighting it with WATER SLIDES and BOUNCE HOUSES! That's right! Because if you're gonna dread something, you might as well do it while you're absolutely drenched and probably a little disoriented from all the bouncing!

One guy tries to sit on the railing of your deck, falls off, and sprains an ankle. Now you're dealing with an ambulance and a potential lawsuit, all because you wanted to save a few bucks on chairs. This isn't a standing-room-only concert, people. This is a party. Provide a place for people to sit down, for crying out loud!